Talking Hearing Loss

One summer, a couple of years ago, I was holidaying with my wife and kids, along with another family visiting from interstate. After spending a very long day at a water park—where we’d been splashed, sunburnt, and spun around on rides named after various natural disasters—we returned to our accommodation feeling utterly exhausted.

As we were dragging ourselves out of the car, my wife, in a voice that oozed exhaustion, said, “Wow. After all that I think I need a long nana nap”

What happened next was the combination of my hearing loss in addition to my own exhaustion from a full day of activity. On that fateful evening, what I “heard” my wife say was: “Wow. After all that, I think I need a long enema!”

A moment of stunned silence followed as I stood there, processing the horror of what I thought my wife had just casually announced in front of everyone. Of course, my response was the only logical one: “Wait… what on earth do you mean about needing a long enema?!”

The silence was quickly shattered by the sound of collective, uncontrollable laughter. My wife, the other family, the kids—they all burst into hysterics, and I, rather amused, joined in. Honestly, this was just another day in the life of my family, who are quite accustomed to me mishearing things in increasingly bizarre ways.

It reminded me of a story one of my clients told me. She was at the dentist, and in the middle of the procedure, with fingers still in her mouth, the dentist said, “Now this might feel a bit tight.”

What she heard was “Now I want you to give a big bite.”

And of course, being the obedient patient that she is, she did exactly that. She clamped her teeth down—on the shocked dentist’s fingers.

Moments like these have taught me that sometimes the best way to handle a good mishearing isn’t with a sheepish “Pardon?” but with complete confidence in repeating back exactly what you think you heard. Say it in a confused tone, and voilà! Instant comedy, with a bonus: the other person gets a glimpse of what it’s like to experience life with hearing loss.

It keeps things interesting, and honestly, it’s better than the ever-awkward exchange of “What was that?” over and over. This approach helps to turn a potentially negative interaction into a positive one, you can share a laugh with someone and be a lot less stressed about mishearing what was said. There’s also nothing to stop you adding something along the lines of “Okay now that we know what you didn’t just say, could you repeat what you were just telling me?”

So, what about you? What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever misheard? Because I’m pretty sure nothing will top the enema nap!