Talking Hearing Loss

I recently shared some tips on how to communicate effectively with someone who has hearing loss. Now, let’s flip the script and look at it from the other side: what can those of us with hearing loss do to make communication a little easier? I’m speaking from experience here—drawing on challenges I’ve faced and the strategies I’ve developed to overcome them.

But first, let me ask you something that might seem a little off-topic:

Do you actually know how your hearing aid works?

I’m not just talking about putting it in and turning it on. I mean really understanding the ins and outs of your device, including:

• Whether you can manually adjust the volume and when it’s appropriate to do so.
• How the microphones work to help you hear in different environments.
• If your hearing aid has specialized programs and what they’re designed for.
• The general maintenance needed to keep it working at its best.

If you’re unsure about any of these points, it’s time to have a chat with your hearing care professional. Understanding your hearing aid is essential. It helps you get the most out of it. This is vital for effectively managing your hearing loss.

For example, I’ve had clients tell me they always sit with their back to the wall in noisy restaurants. They think this position minimizes background noise. While the logic seems sound, most modern hearing aids have both front and rear microphones that prioritize sound from the front when needed. So, sitting with your back to the noise, instead of having your back to the wall, can actually help your hearing aids focus on the voices in front of you. A small adjustment that makes a big difference!

Own Your Hearing Loss—Don’t Let It Own You

Hearing loss isn’t something to be embarrassed about. The sooner you accept that, the easier life becomes. I spent years trying to hide my hearing loss. It was easier at first because my loss was mild, but as it worsened, hiding it became more challenging. Eventually, I realized that pretending to hear when I couldn’t was doing more harm than good.

A turning point should have been the day I almost stepped in front of a moving tram in Melbourne because I didn’t hear it coming. A colleague saved me by yanking me back just in time. This should have been my wake-up call, but it took me several more years to fully accept my hearing loss and adapt.

These days, I wear my hearing aid and cochlear implant proudly. I keep my hair short so they’re clearly visible—no more hiding. I’ve learned that being open about my hearing loss not only helps me but also encourages others to be more understanding. In fact, when I worked in retail, customers with hearing loss often sought me out because they knew I would get it.

Speak Up About Your Needs

Over the years, I’ve found that being upfront about my hearing loss goes a long way. Whether it’s at a busy service desk or on the phone, I start the conversation with:

“Hi, I have a hearing loss. Could you please help me with…?”

This simple statement usually prompts a positive and accommodating response. Of course, there are exceptions—some people are just plain rude or unhelpful. But that’s a negative reflection of their character, not your hearing loss.

Strategize Your Social Interactions

Let’s be honest: group conversations can be a nightmare when you have hearing loss. But with a little planning, they don’t have to be. I always try to position myself strategically—sitting next to someone with a clear, deep voice or across from someone I find easier to lip-read.

At a recent lunch with close friends, I placed myself directly across from my wife and my best friend, who has a strong, clear voice. Even though I missed some of the wider group chatter, I could follow the main conversation by focusing on the people I could hear best.

Starting a conversation yourself also helps. When you steer the topic, you already know the context, making it easier to follow along. And if you miss something, don’t just say, “Sorry?” or “Pardon?” Instead, be specific:

“That’s really sad about Mary being in the hospital. But I missed what you said about what the doctors think is wrong. Could you repeat that part?”

This approach not only clarifies the part you missed but also keeps the conversation flowing more naturally.

Lip Reading: An Underestimated Superpower

Lip reading is a skill that gets better the more you use it. I always try to position myself so I can clearly see the speaker’s face. Watching how someone’s mouth moves can help fill in the gaps for words you didn’t quite catch.

Know Your Limits and Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

Even with the best strategies, some situations are just too challenging. Busy family gatherings or noisy restaurants can be overwhelming, which is why having a support network is invaluable. In these moments, I rely on my wife. We’ve developed subtle hand signals that let me discreetly communicate when I’m struggling to follow the conversation. This cues her to jump in and help include me without missing a beat. We’ve gotten so good at it that most people don’t even notice—it’s like our own secret language.

Accepting help doesn’t mean you’re weak. It just means you’re smart enough to use all the tools at your disposal.

The Takeaway

Hearing loss can make you feel isolated if you let it. For years, I avoided social gatherings to escape the stress of trying to follow conversations. But avoidance only made my anxiety worse. Eventually, I realized that facing my challenges head-on—by being open about my hearing loss and developing strategies to cope—was the key to living fully.

So, my final piece of advice? Don’t hide your hearing loss. You can’t expect others to understand if you don’t give them the chance.