Talking Hearing Loss

Many years ago, long before I received my cochlear implant, I took my young daughter to a doctor’s appointment. As we waited, I kept her entertained with some of the children’s books in the room. The doctor eventually called my daughter’s name, but I didn’t hear him; my attention was fully on her. After calling again with no response, the doctor moved on to the next patient.

It wasn’t until a kind stranger, who overheard me saying my daughter’s name out loud, leaned over and quietly told me, “The doctor has been calling you.”

I felt my face flush with embarrassment. I quickly gathered my daughter and apologized to the doctor as we went in. He was polite, but in my mind, the damage was already done. I couldn’t stop replaying the moment, worrying about how it must have looked to others—that I wasn’t paying attention, that I didn’t care, or that I was just rude.

But the truth was, I didn’t hear.

This type of situation is why I have what I call my “Deaf Anxiety.”

What I Mean by Deaf Anxiety

I’ll admit right off the bat: I’m not sure if “Deaf Anxiety” is a recognized term, or whether it’s something I’ve self-diagnosed. But I do know this—ever since my hearing started to decline, I’ve been on edge, constantly anxious about all the things I might be missing.

Deaf Anxiety, for me, is the constant mental pressure of wondering if I’ve missed something important. It’s not about silence. It’s not even about the sound itself. It’s the worry of what happens when a sound carries meaning—an instruction, a warning, an announcement, a joke, a conversation—and I don’t catch it.

Even now, with a cochlear implant and a hearing aid that give me far better access to sound than I had for most of my life, that anxiety hasn’t gone away. The technology helps, absolutely, but that little voice in the back of my mind is still there, whispering:

“What if you didn’t hear that?”

Everyday Scenarios That Trigger my Deaf Anxiety

Of course, every person’s experience with hearing loss is different. But these are some of the situations where my Deaf Anxiety tends to take over:

1. Phone Calls with Important Information
   Calling my bank, my insurance company, or any service where I’m expected to receive critical details is always nerve-wracking. What if I mishear a date? A number? An instruction? Even when I ask people to repeat themselves, I’m left second-guessing whether I really caught it right.
   
2. Doctor Visits and Medical Conversations
   Healthcare situations bring a different kind of pressure. When the topic is your health—or your child’s—you can’t afford to misinterpret or miss anything. I’ve often walked out of an appointment wondering if I fully understood what was said, replaying the conversation in my head, hoping I didn’t miss a key detail.
   
3. Meeting New People or Socializing with Friends
   This is one of the most exhausting scenarios. Meeting new people means learning their voices, their accents, their speech patterns, often in noisy environments. Even catching up with close friends can be tiring—I want to follow along, I want to contribute, but sometimes it feels like I’m hanging on by a thread.
   
4. Entering Unfamiliar Places and Asking for Directions
   If I’m lost or in a noisy environment, the anxiety multiplies. Asking for directions means listening carefully in a place where I might not catch the answer. Straining to understand while worrying I’ll look clueless only adds more pressure.
   
5. Running Out of Hearing Aid Batteries
   This one might sound small, but it’s huge. The thought of being caught out in the world with dead batteries and no spares is terrifying. For me, that means instant isolation—cut off from communication, sounds, and awareness of what’s happening around me.
   
6. Missing Important Sounds at Home
   At home, the worry is always there too. Will I hear the doorbell? The phone? The smoke alarm at night? Even though I have systems in place to alert me, there’s always a part of me that worries: what if something slips through?

The Psychological Toll of Constant Vigilance

The hardest part of Deaf Anxiety isn’t the missed sounds themselves—it’s the constant state of alertness.

I’m always scanning, always checking, always listening harder than most people ever have to. Even in quiet, calm situations, I don’t fully relax. My brain is working overtime, making sure I don’t miss cues, piecing together context, filling in gaps.

It’s mentally exhausting. And that exhaustion builds up over time.

Sometimes I wonder if people notice that about me—not just that I have hearing loss, but that I carry this invisible weight of vigilance everywhere I go.

Does Deaf Anxiety Affect You?

If you have hearing loss, maybe this sounds familiar. Maybe you’ve felt the same knot in your stomach, the same stress of second-guessing yourself, the same instinct to avoid certain situations altogether because the anxiety feels heavier than the event itself.

If you’ve ever felt this, you’re not alone.

Deaf Anxiety might not be an “official” diagnosis, but it’s real. It’s lived. And it takes a toll.

Have you ever experienced Deaf Anxiety? What situations trigger your worry about missing out on the sounds that matter?

I’d love for you to share your experiences in the comments below. Let’s keep this conversation going—because by sharing, we can help each other feel less alone in navigating the hidden challenges of hearing loss.